Tag Archives: Jersey Shore

25 Rules for Surviving and Thriving In Hollywood

As an actor (my first career in entertainment) I came across a list of rules for making it in show business. I can’t remember who it was by, but it was funny, succinct and to the point.  That was a long time ago and I don’t remember the rules other than the mantra which I’ve repeated here in rules 3, 8, 16 & 25. Also, rule 1. came from an English blogger who’s blog I can’t find now (credit where credit is due… sort of.)

So, here we go.  My first rules for making it in Hollywood. Based on my experience, I wrote down  the 25 most common sense things I could think of. Why 25? I figured you could handle that many.  If I thought if the cast of Jersey Shore was reading, there would only have to be four and I’ll let you guess which ones they are. If you think there are some missing, feel free to chime in.  With no further ado, I bring you my 25 Rules:

1. Always carry a pen.

2. Have specific, time sensitive goals.  Use the pen to write them down. Keep them in a place where you can see them.

3. Save your money.

4. Don’t neglect your family and friends. When the bottom falls out, they are the net that will catch you.

5. Go easy on the cosmetic surgery. There’s a fine line between looking younger and like a surprised floatation device.

6. The best route between Hollywood and Beverly Hills is Fountain Avenue to La Cienega to Burton Way.

7. Always remember that youth and skill are no match for age and treachery.

8. Save your money.

9. There’s no such thing as overnight success.  There are only years of hard work that suddenly pay off.

10. There is a big difference between leaving your mark and marking your territory. Don’t confuse the two.

10. Failure is not an option, it is an inevitable and necessary ingredient of success.

12. Getting knocked down in Hollywood thins out the herd.  Always be sure to get back up.

13. If anyone ever says you’ll never work in this town again, realize it’s only until they need you again.

14. People don’t need a good reason to sue you, they just need a lawyer. Don’t take it personally, it’s just business.

15.  If you don’t love the movie business, find something you love and do that instead.  Love expands and so does bitterness.

16. Save your money.

17. Always make sure you’ve removed the lens cap before rolling.  Success is in the details.

18. The town can smell fear and desperation. Find a way to erase these emotions from your business life.

19. Be nice to waiters, valets and receptionists.  Someday they’ll be green lighting your projects.

20. When someone’s assistant says “actually he/she is in a meeting and can’t talk now.” They “actually” just don’t want to talk to you.

21. Know the difference between providing opportunity and mentoring.  It’s the difference between making someone opportunistic or loyal.

22. Movie making is problem solving. If there are problems, it means that you’re still in business.

23. Never say “to be honest with you” or “I’ll be totally honest.”  These phrases mean that you are not usually honest and your current honesty is an exception to your standard operating procedure.

24.  Anything positive you do or say is instantly forgotten.  Anything negative you do or say follows you forever and makes you a suspect in all the ills of humanity.

25. Save your money.

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The Aztecs, Snooki and You

Artists tend to have a nasty habit.  Actually, many nasty habits, but one in particular that I want to talk about.  They stand out at the edge.  After all, the edge is the Artist’s perch.  Looking back towards the middle, you can observe life and society.  This helps you comment and express yourself.  Looking the other way, out towards the void. You can poke at it and push the edge out, establishing a new edge and evolving  art forms past anywhere they’ve been before.

However, the edge is also a curse.  Yes, as you look into the center it makes you face watered down, path of least resistance excuses for art.  It makes you face the culture of Snooki.   Facing the culture of Snooki can make you lose faith. It can make you feel isolated and unequipped to participate in the center where the business of art is done.

So, where’s the balance?  Unfortunately, there isn’t any real balance, it’s about committing yourself to being heard, and to be heard you have to pay attention to business as well as art. It’s also not about multi-tasking.  As Shawn Achor presents in his book; ‘The Happiness Advantage’ the human brain is not really capable of multi-tasking.  It IS capable of moving from one task to another very quickly, but can only focus on one thing at a time.

What I’m talking about is committing to action in business.  The Aztecs called it “Ollin.” When disaster struck, such as earthquake, flood etc. The word would spread from person to person to “Ollin” which means become active “now”.  Seek higher ground, prepare food stuffs, throw grandma over your shoulder and get moving.  I heard an interview with the author Kevin Hall whose message is the power of the words we use. He points out how close the expression “Ollin” is to the modern expression “All in.”

It seems everything in the Aztec language has an artistic rendering.  To the right is the one for Ollin. Interesting, though don’t give them too much credit, they were also into human sacrifice and bungie jumping without cords attached which of course is not bungie jumping, it’s just jumping.  They had their quirks, but some very useful concepts came from their culture and this is one of them.

This doesn’t mean that you have to interrupt your pursuit of craft go to every industry event, party and screening (though a few wouldn’t kill you)  or go for an MBA in artist management. But, it does mean you have to pay attention to finding new ways to interface with those who’s craft is making money in the arts and media.  They are, for better or worse, the ones building culture. Because, when they make money, you make money.  When you make money, you can pay the mortgage, go to the grocery store and buy finger paints for the kids.

This requires you to leave the edge and venture into the center, and no, it’s not selling out.  It’s curious, I have always found that artists who acuse others of selling out are the ones whose art is completely inaccesible or whose  talent is suspect.  In essence, there is no such thing as selling out.  There are finding ways to make a living while creating art.  In essence, there is only “all out” or “all in.”

So what’s my advice for going all in?  First and foremost, think about how you can take action on both an artistic level and a business level.  WRITE IT DOWN. Hold yourself to it.  Make a plan for artistic development and business development.  Not just a plan, a detailed plan. Once you make the plan, work the plan.  If business development is foreign to you, make a commitment to informing yourself as part of your plan.  You can start by reading some of the books from my resources page.

I know I’m being extreme in bringing up Snooki in a discussion about art and culture, but I’m illustrating a point.  Snooki is indeed an artist of some kind or other  from the center.  If I had to, I would label her a performance artist of happenstance. Right place, right time, right car wreck of a life. But, she will be here, then she will be gone when a better car wreck catches the media’s attention. Hers is not an artist’s career, it is the brief, bright light of celebrity.

The Aztecs on the other hand, stood on the edge and built culture through artistry.  Their edge became their center and culture.  They lived it every day.  My real question here is: in our polarized world can you build culture from the edge?  You can certainly build art at the edge.  But, if you don’t venture to the center to force art into our culture, it’s left to Snooki. Do you really want future generations to be scratching their heads as they watch “Jersey Shore,” wondering where we lost our grasp on beauty?

I suppose I’m not only giving you some tools here, but also a call to action. It is possible to sustain yourself while doing something bigger than yourself.  Are you ready to go Ollin?  The Aztecs did, Snooki does.  Oy, yes that’s the point.  If you don’t, there will be an endless procession of Snookies.  I think I speak for all of us in the center when I yell to the edge: show us what you’ve got!  save us, save us from Snooki!